Sunday, September 30, 2007
SHOCKED.
Chance upon blog entries which are obviously aiming at my previous post. I really got a shock. The response's really, shocking. I am NOT talking bout you guys my gosh. Please all don't think I'm referring to you guys. Any of you. Alright, my apologies for not stating names and hence, caused assumptions. My gosh. I'm really sorry for those who actually thought i was mad at them. Quite a number of groups either blogged or called me to clarify or to "retaliate"? Of course. the grp I was referring to asked as well and I told them straight.
My clarification :
#1 That entry's a mixture of feelings. Aiming at two different grps or rather a grp and a person. Two events happened at the same time and I blogged abt it cos it was too much for me and I've got no one to turn to. Cos nobod in TP knew the whole story or rather the background of the whole thing. If I were to tell any of you, you guys wont get it and I have to repeat myself from the beginning. That was why I chose to blog.
#2 That entry involved a grp. Nobody really knew about this grp. A grp of 7 girls. pretty obvious now aint it? and the other person's obviously Gary, who has NOTHING to do with that grp. If you can seperate the paras and sort them out with your knowledge of my stories, den you'll be able to see the contrast. Really, try. Its two seperate issues.
#3 Adding on to my feelings, my sis had to leave for Japan and this is the first time she'll be leaving home for so long. She's "leaving" me for the time being. See the link?
You mean you guys already left me? I didnt know that. I thought all was fine. It turned out to be me finding out the truth instead. Thanks lot for not opening up the issue, I know you guys can if you all want but you all didnt. I appreciate it alot. But I swear I really dont know what's going on. I will not know if nobody tells me? I attempted to find out wad was wrong months back but i was told all's well. I guess you guys felt that it wasnt necessary to kick a fuss bout it. Alright, Just tell me all that's on your mind alright? I just wanna know and I will change, not an attempt for you guys to forgive whatever i did wrong but for myself. I didnt know what i did wrong. But if you guys think it'll be just a waste of your time den I guess I will respect you all. Yupp, thats that. I know these friendships not gonna end or turn sour just like that.
I am waiting for your replies. I called you and clarified personally. You know who you are now right? Yupp.
Its just a game for two.
Sent sis to the airport at early 0430hrs. Will only see her in like, 2 mths or so? Sigh. But Kev suggested going over for the weekend. Of course I'll be glad. hoho. Wait till Kev comes back from Bali den we'll decide. Hmmm, I love the feeling of having no worries, no stress and you know, really relaxed. But I miss my sis. ): So much tears at the airport just now. As if all of them going for a year or so. Its just 2months. Thats what I told myself. haha. Alright.
Going out for dinner soon. Nothing much about today. That's all. (:
我发现站了好久 不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我 再多人陪只会更寂寞
许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可 委屈却没有人诉说
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多
ABHORANCE.
I hate this feeling. Fucking irritating. Bloody hell irritating mofos. Yes yes, leave alright. everyone just leave k? Fucking leave for all I care. Just go away and dont ever come back alright? I wont appreciate a single bit if you do. Dont talk about trust. Dont tell me old granny stories about love, friendships and trust. Yes, no one fucking admits their mistake or rather dont think they had made mistake at all in their entire fucking life and just blame people once someone let them down. I see, so you're oh-so-perfect. I'm jealous of your life man. I really am. Jealous? So what? You're NOT worth it, AT ALL. I've never hate someone so much in my entire life. Listen, fucking shut up and listen to me for once. I loved you so much, yet this is what I get. You made me hate you to this extent. I swear this is my FIRST time hating someone so much that it hurts so badly. Just go away alright? GO AWAY. Don't come near me, I dont need you.
I forgave you when you hurt me. I still loved you despite all those shits you gave me. So tell me what the fuck you want? You told me so many fairytales we can make come true. You told me about ever-lasting friendships. You told me I was important. You told me miracles do happen. You made me smile whenever I'm down. You made me laugh at nothing all the time. You lent a listening ear and hear me complain. You told me bout your darkest secret and I kept mum about it. You gave a meaning to my mundane life. You were the reason I did not give up on myself. Also, you made me cry. You made me upset. You disappoint me. You hurt me. YOU FUCKING HURT ME. Hear me?! HAPPY now? Laugh, laugh your heart out. Come, laugh, I wanna hear your laughters. That'll tear me apart. That's what you want right? You've succeeded. Congratulations! FUCK OFF YOU ASSHOLE.
Took your revenge? Is it enough to please your oh-so-perfect soul? I'll leave you now. I'll fucking leave you now. Go pop champagne and celebrate. Go party and rmb this day as the happiest day of your life. Dont give me anymore explanations. I dont need need those anymore. Leave once and for all.
You're smart. Thumbs up for you. You know how to pull me down. You know my weak point. You hit me at the bulls' eye. Nice shot, perfect shot. I'm surprised at how much I can hate a person I loved so much. You're the first.
I changed so much for you. I did so much for you. You're always so important. I gave up almost everything for you. Just who are you. I'll make you regret. For the pain you inflicted on me, I'll return it in a hundred fold. Trust me. If I can love you, I can hate you. If I can love you so much, I can hate you double of that.
I fell here. I can stand on my feet strong again, here. Just wait.
I'll remember you forever, and ever. That's my promise to you. Its not just one of you.
LABELS: Don't say those things you don't mean. Cos they're a fucking nuisance to my ears.
Friday, September 28, 2007
My apologies to Sarah for not seeing her tag. So, as a make up, I'll do the first part for her(:
*Person who tagged me : SARAH LYANA!
*My relationship with her : More then you expect ;)
*5 impressions I have of her :
- Straightforward (that makes her Sarah)
- Extremely encouraging
- All out for her friends
- True blue DC-er. (LOL)
- I have to keep her at all cost(:
*Most memorable thing she has done for me : My pillar of strength when I was about to give up.
*Most memorable words she has said to me : I have faith in you. (:
*If she becomes my lover, I will : be a lesbian then, and love her of course! LOL
*If she becomes my enemy, I will : hate myself too. haha
*Most desirable thing I want to do for her now is : I wanna get her to pierce her ears!
*My overall impression of her is : AWESOME girl.
---
I'm done and as you can see, I'm stuck at home with a swollen finger. -_- Was suppose to meet sis at the airport but cramps are killing me. No mood for anywhere. Unless you are him, I will not rmb that I'm actually having a stomach cramp and swollen finger. Of course, if DC-ers date, I'll be there. LOL.
Going to the sinseh soon. They better not make me pay more den 20 bucks for my finger. Or I'll commit arson. Okay, I'm just kidding Mr Policeman, don't arrest me. I still have a long way to go.
I dread having to re-organise my wardrobe. But it needs the attention very much. Its gonna explode anytime. haha. Ikea with bro and mum tmr. Is tmr a Saturday? If yes, den yes, tmr. I want so many things. Can I but the whole Ikea? Not if my dad's not some tycoon. ):
I need to satisfy my retail-needs soon. Anyone? haha.
Sis flying off the Japan this Sunday, 30th. I'll only see her again in 2 month's time. How sad. I'm gonna miss her sleeping beside on the right side of the bed man. On a lighter note, there's space available right next to me! You wanna come and "sleep" beside me? haha! You'd probably be awaken by nightmares and cold sweats luh please. LOL. Aye, but seriously if you want you're most welcome. Only *you hor. HAHA, do i sound like some psycho? Back to being sad. I'll see you again on the 15th Nov stupid piggo! (:
What's with everyone going overseas and leaving me in S'pore?!?!? Warren and Kev's going Bali with their mummy. Never mind, I'll abandon you guys for Macau in Nov and Europe in Dec. BOO! Anw, dont forget my present okay! I want this and this and this. I gave you a list alr right? :D
Okay, Sinseh's calling me now. I shal stop talking to myself here and get my ass outta the house. See you! Oh, I'm not saying that those who blog are talking to themselves. Its me ok? Just me. LOL. though its pretty known to everyone that this is a fact. hoho.
See you, enileda! haha.
The sound of your name.
My precious right index finger's swollen. RIGHT side lor. -_- Worse, I don't know why. This is the sole purpose of this entry. heh.
Should I see the sinseh? But see a sinseh for a pathetic finger? A lil funny man. Sis commented," Wait until all five finger swell den go lor." WTH. ): My fingers are fat enough and need no swelling to ENHANCE it further.
AHHH, I'm confused. haha. See the sinseh? See not? hahhaa. What's "see not"? Crazy.
LABELS: Why the excuses?
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sorry Vivi, I just read your blog and saw this. =x
Anyway, here you go.
Person who tagged me : Vivi -_- ( she thinks i'm as free as her. lol)
*My relationship with her : She's my confidante and a fellow DC-er (:
*5 impressions I have of her :
- How can a person have such soft and straight hair?
- How can someone still slowly style her hair despite being late for lecs?
- How can someone ever make me laugh so hard in wee hours in front of the dumb com?
- How can a person ever know just when to talk to me?
- I know what's on her mind sometimes. hoho.
*Most memorable thing she has done for me : Many things she's done for me, all memorable, how? The hug she gave when I was down.
*Most memorable words she has said to me : You read me like a book.
*If she becomes my lover, I will : Lover ah? Means will make love huh? Then I'll give her the best experience of her life. LOL.
*If she becomes my enemy, I will : God taught me to love me enemy. (:
*Most desirable thing I want to do for her now is : Hmm, desirable. *looks at DC-ers.*
*My overall impression of her is : Someone I wouldnt trade for anything in the world.
***
*What I think people feel about me : Noisy. Over-friendly. Fierce? Unapproachable.
*Characteristics I love about myself : Straightforward. Genuine.
*Characteristics I hate about myself : A little too ego. Putting in too much feelings.
*Most ideal person I want to be is : Queen Elizabeth II
*A message for people who care for me and like me : Thank you. (:
Pass this quiz to 10 people whom you wish to know how they feel about you :
- Min Min
- Kwai
- Cherly
- Warren
- Vivi! ( do again luh. lol)
- Pris
- Val
- Sarah
- Janice
- Kelly
*Who is no.6 having a relationship with? : WHO ELSE! lol.
*Is no.9 a male or female? : Female
*If no.7 and no.10 are in a relationship, will it be a good one? : Kelly's a girl.
*What is no.2 studying? : Hospitality Management(:
*When was the last time I chatted with no.3? : Last week? Can't rmb.
*What type of music does no.8 like? : No preference? She listens and knows how to sing chinese songs!
*Does no.1 have siblings? : Older bro and sis. Jason, Ivy.
*Would I woo no.3? : More like she'll woo me. LOL
*Would I woo no.7? : If I'm a guy, definitely.
*Is no.4 single? : No, he doesnt want me anymore. haha.
*What's no.5's surname? : LIM na beh.
*What's no.4's hobby? : Chatting endlessly on the phone, making sure he's at his best, hitting posh bars with me. LOL.
*Do no.5 and no.9 get along well? : Of course, all classmates.
*Where is no.2 studying? :SHATEC.
*Say something casual about no.1 : She's my pig sister.
*Have I tried developing feelings for no.8? : We're in love please! (X
*Where does no.9 live? : Chai Chee.
*What colour does no.4 like? : Green. All earthy colours.
*Are no.1 and no.5 best friends? : No, but both are mine. Does it count?
*Does no.7 like no.2? : They're from different worlds.
*How did I get to know no.2? : My senior in sec school.
*Does no.1 have any pets? : 3 dogs for heaven's sake.
*Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? : What's sexyclique for?
FINALLY i'm done. Had to sort out the questions one by one please. I thought I'd die after doing this. LOL. Thankew huh, VIVI. You never fail to give me the best things on Earth.
I'm lazy to blog already. Thanks to this quiz. haha. BYEBYE!
PS: Above questions were answered from the heart. lalalala.
LABELS: We loved the splendour.
Harry's @ Dempsey Hill.
Sure that place's hot. Met Estelle and Kevin after getting those patent heels at Plaza Sing. where I met Vivi and Andrea in the toilet -_- What a glam place to bump into them. Ha. Heard Vivi's voice when she wasnt even anywhere near the toilet. LOL. A little exagerating. ANW, that was just to make sure you guys know how LOUD she was. Okay, back to Dempsey Hill.
Band performed and sang ballads. Really nice and soothing. Not those sleazy bars where lights are purposely dimmed so everyone looks as gorgeous. haha. Brightly-lit Harry's deserve a 9 out of 10. :D Patrons were mostly caucasians. SPGs, know where to hit. haha. There're caucasians who look like crap. LOL. I saw a few, at least. The mentality of all caucasians are cute has to be changed. (:
Oh, Vivi, SPGs are pretty, most of them. So I dont fit into that category. LOL. You know what I'm talking about. (:
Ben & Jerry's just opposite Harry's. Of course, who can resist the temptation of B&J's? That was our dessert. Had a candy-spree over at Jone's before hitting B&J's. Kevin had to suggest a meatloaf feast which almost made me puke out all the food I ate. -_- Everyone know that feeling.
Did I mention that this B&J's different? Very different. Got myself a B&J's lipbalm. Really cute. Will post pics up soon. ((: I'm gonna make Dempsey Hill my weekly affair. hoho.
Mustafa for money changer and I had to mind my words there. haha. Not all of them are Dinny you know. =)
Its freaking 0611hrs now and I think I have to sleep now. Darkrings are getting from bad to worse. ):
GOODNIGHT all!
LABELS: When you crept silently into my mind.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Somewhere I belong.
I count my blessings. I'd accept the fact that I'm fortunate enough. It upsets me, but at least I know I was right. My feelings never go wrong and I trust them. Its been long since I last talked to you and thus the distance. We knew the reason behind but none of us wanna talk about it. Perhaps its all the events that took place, good and bad. I chance upon a picture of you. Numb, no feelings. I feel nothing. Guess all that's beyond pain. Survived a week of hell. Pained thru those days of grieve. I came to realise, finally, willing to accept the fact thatyou don't need me. Or rather, there's no difference whether I'm there or not.
So I'll put everything behind me and move on. I'll leave behind those laughters and joy we shared and take with me the pain as a lesson learnt. I still love you, I still do. But do I have a choice? No. This is so much I can give. May not be significant, but that was my all.
I'll be lying if I say I don't miss you. You don't know how much you mean to me. You chose to give me up. And so I let go.
A friendship I held so dear. Everyone makes mistakes, who doesnt? The only time where you find no reason to forgive someone is when you dont err yourself. Of course, you have all rights to decide. I'm just giving my two cents worth.
On the contrary, I wish I can have you back and call you mine once again. I know it feels like me pushing you down the cliff yet wanna save you from below. How contradicting.
This is all because I cant bear to see you leave.
LABELS: A blend of my feelings and emotions.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I'm not over it.
Alright mins, i saw your invasion luh! STUPID one. (: No time and mood for blogs. When I have the time, I dont have the mood, vice versa.
This hol's the worst I ever had. I swear nothing could have been worse. Sent my Granny off on the 15th Sept 2007. I bid her farewell on the 9th. But she'll live in my heart forever. I promise.
Why think of the future when you don't even remember the past.
Adel loves Mins the most (:
and and and..Mins loves Adel alot because
of the Happy Meal and Sundae :DDDDD yayyyy!
I bet Adel's gonna take weeks or even months to
realise that her this blog is currently under invasion.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! (: Power anot?
I've been going to Adel's blog whenever i'm online,
but what i've been seeing was, CHINESE LYRICS
forever there -.- (her latest post)
And once i saw, i would just click "back" cause
i knew she didnt update -.- Walaooooooooo.
Okay, i'm lazyyyy.
That's all.
ZAI JIANNNNNNN (:
Friday, September 07, 2007
--
能不能就对着我说爱我
能不能就陪着我天长地久
不要对我若即若离
让我伤心泪流
能不能就对着我说爱我
能不能就陪着我一直到最后
从今以后剩下的路
要你陪我走
Accidental phonecall.
Slacked at home for the whole of today. Was suppose to go school for Oktoberfest briefing, but I overslept): I'll be going for the event though. Didnt sound very convenient and all. But its rather interesting. 3pm to 3am for 5 days. Gosh, I hope I'll survive man. The pay's good anyway. LOL.
Talked to Weilan after so many donkey years. :D Will take time out to meet her. For Sakae, movies and * . hahaha!-Lans, you know I know. LOL. Faints. This idiot never fail to make me laugh out loud and embarrass myself everywhere, anywhere. (: I miss her alot man. You better grow up and stop irritating me ah. I know your aim in life is to irritate me every time you see me. Better not meet up with both you and Bird at the same time. You two will drive me crazy. Lans + Birdie = 6 WEILAN. =x
Nothing else to blog already. hoho. Exams results coming out and I'm really worried. ):
I'll treat it as a wake up call.
Don't replace it with someone who's name starts with "AC"
You joked bout it.
And you really didnt.
Its good enough.
It came when I was thinking bout you.
Shall I call it coincidental?
Or can I say its affinity?
I don't know.
I just miss you.
LABELS: I don't need anyone better. i just need you.
Alright, got tagged by Vivi and I HAVE to do it. LOL.
So here it goes,
- Each player of this game starts off by giving 5 weird things about themselves.
- People who get tagged needs to write in their blog of their own weird things as well and state the rules clearly.
- In the end, you'll select 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
5 weird things about myself.
1. I am overly-open about my feelings and I am not afraid to make them known even if there are grave consequences to face. Will do things that normal people don't.
2. Will take years to decide whether or not to have a hair-cut. -My hair matters alot. Will never trust my hair to ANY hairdresser man.
3. I will do something I know I shouldnt and allow myself to make mistakes. Tried to control myself occasionally though. LOL
4. Hate showing people the weak side of me.
5. Will blog whenever I'm unhappy cos I think my blog is the best confidante on Earth. (:
Okay, now I'm suppose to tag. They will be, Mins, Cherly, Val, Pris and Reuben. Reason being, as far as I know they do read my blog somehow and are able/will blog often. (:
THATS IT((: Thanks Vivi for tagging. ((:
The things we once said.
BACK FROM CHALET!!! ((: one word, AWESOME. haha. Enjoyed myself alot and drank alot. Didnt know my classmates can be such great drinkers. Damn, looks can be deceiving. LOL. Anyway, Mr Daniel Chia, Ms Quah and Mr Pras dropped by. Mr Chia made us 4 boxes of Mapo Toufu. It was really nice I tell you. Nothing can beat the joy of being able to taste his cooking. We gotta thank Sarah for that man. ((: Anyone jealous? haha. Daniel Chia rocks la. Class took many pics with him and we really gotta thank him for making the effort to come by though he had a really tight schedule. He had to go for some party at Sentosa organised by some magazine. Despite the rush, he went supermarket to get the ingredients den went home, whipped up the dish and cabbed down. THANKS MR CHIA. You're awesome.
Of course, Ms Quah and Mr Pras' turn-up got us all excited. haha. Really appreciate it man. Ms Quah even "subsidized" the event. LOL. Mr Pras bought many chocolates. 1H03 really has got sweet tooth. haha.
I guess my blog entry's not detailed enough. You guys may wanna go to Vivi, Andrea or Sarah's blog for more. ((: I'm sure they're gonna blog about what the DCs did during the chalet and you'll really laugh ur ass off. Esp the DC anthem. LOL.
I will update more tmr. Just got home and am really tired. Meeting classmates at 10.30am tmr. All going for oktoberfest briefing. whooohooooooooo. :D
I can get you off my mind, only when I'm not sane
LABELS: Expect the unexpected.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
LYRICS TIME.
坐在这角落 心里很多话想说
知道我以后 需要一直往前走
这样的爱情 又算是什麼
爱不在 应该让自己从回忆中离开
有时候 对爱有太深太多倚赖
好像你失去在这世界 还能够 独单的自由
是曾经有的梦 现在只剩一场空
心裏好多疑问 你忘了你的承诺
笑我自己没有用 眼泪无言的留下来
知道还是要面对 这段感情的伤痛
有时候 不管对爱有多少的倚赖
就算再不愿意再伤心 我明白
我们只能放手
曾经以为等待会改变什么 你总会属于我
你道歉 你难过 于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心 还会不会寂寞
如果爱情是五线谱 我曾希望用全音符
吟唱出 爱上你 那完整的幸福
但你的心没有耳朵 即使我为你唱着歌
你也只 看见我哭了
你退缩 你冷漠 于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心 会永远的寂寞
---
Waiting for time to pass so I can leave house for chalet. I need a break man. But apparently this chalet's not really helping. Probably it will later, but definitely not now. Anyway, not important. Haven been a good rep since school start I guess, so is this a time to make up to the class for everything? ha. But i dare say I was there when the class' in need. CCN day prep and all crap. Ah well, this is suppose to be a happy event. Yes, it will be, i'm sure. Just exhausted. But those constant msges to ask if i'm alright really helps. Thanks Vivi. ((: Oh, Kelly, you're just awesome. I know its just the both of us doing all the work and you have no obligations, you helped anw. Thanks lot for that yeah? (: Alright, enjoy yourselves ltr guys.
French class' gonna start again. Gonna do my module 2. Hope I'll still remember the crap I learnt in module 1. Come to think of it, I can hardly use the new language when noone else can converse with me in it. Oh, maybe Daniel Chia and Pras. LOL. But I don't wanna embarrass myself. I'll probably not be as fluent as they are. So I better shut up. ha.
A goodnight from you made me smile, from deep inside. -yet again
LABELS: So many things to say, all ended with a "goodnight"
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANICE!! ((:
Sweet Seventeenth to you girl!
HAHA, your 3rd cake I suppose.
LABELS: Every birthday girl deserves to be happy.
Monday, September 03, 2007
You're my past, present and future.
A simple text from you can bring a smile to my face. No hundreds of msges from any others can do the same. Its amazing how you could do that to me, and my life. Tell me how can I let you go. Tell me how can I not love you? Teach me, if you want me to. Nobody's saying anything, nobody's doing anything. Just like that.
I dont even have an answer to myself. I dont want any either. I just hate to think. Maybe you, too, feel this way.
Do you know whats going through my mind?
----
Gramp's place for dinner today. Something's just not right and someone's not there. Granny's not there. Probably that's the difference. Paid her a visit ystd with uncles and aunt. Speechless. Dumb-founded. Stunned. Heartache. Pain. Lost. Helpless. Sad. Dejected. Seeing those tears in her eyes made me feel so useless. There's nothing I could give but words. Just words.
Whenever I'm upset, the person I wanna see most is you. The first person I thought of will always be you. Why? Any other wouldnt be able to do the same. So many things I would tell you but to none others. I wanna share my life with you and be part of yours. But, you're never here.
LABELS: Tell me what to do, when I miss you so much.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
我等你
不做考虑也没半点犹豫
我就说了这一句我等你
你眼中闪过了一些压抑
更多的是怀疑
所以你可以离去
不相信你还会回心转意
是我任性才决定要等你
我眼中的泪没掉过一滴
只是随你背影
慢慢倒流进心里
我等你半年为期
逾期就狠狠把你忘记
不止是伤心的还包括一切甜蜜
要等你
要证明自己我可以纵容你在心底
也可以当你只是路过的人而已