In Love With You.

Just a gentle whisper,
Told me that you're gone.
Leaving only memories,
Where did we go wrong?
I couldn't find the words then,
So let me say them now.
I'm still in love with you.

Tell me that you love me
Tell me that you care
Tell me that you need me
And I'll be there
I'll be there waiting

I will always love you
I will always stay true
There's no one who loves you like i do

Come to me now
I will never leave you
I will stay here with you
Through the good and bad I will stand true
I'm in love with you

Now we're here together
Yesterday has passed
Life is just beginning
Close to you at last
And I promise to you,
I will always be there
I give my all to you

Living life without you
is more than i can bear
Hold me close forever

I'll be there

I'll be there for you
I will always love you
I will always stay true
There's no one who loves you like i do
This i promise
I will never leave you
I will stay here with you
Through the good and bad I will stand true
Hold me closer
Our love is forever
Holding us together
Nothing in this world can stop us now

Love has found
A way
I'm in love
Yes I'm in love
I'm so in love
With you

____________________________________________


It's freakin' 2 am now. Decided to blog cos of the song above. (: Nice song pls.
Gave 2 tutorials a miss. Was too tired and couldnt wake up at all. Yes, at all. LOL. Only turn up for the last tutorial. Which is APEL. haha. One hour only. For the sake of 1, our careperson Ms Quah. 2, our report. HAHA. had to hand up. If not you wun see me appearing at all. Val did the same. LOL. steady right?

Stayed up till 6am la pls. :S fell asleep unknowingly and couldnt wake up alr. haha.

Went shopping today. Bought 2 dress and a top from Zara, spag top from MNG and skirt from Forever 21. ((: HAPPY! Got sweetheart and dearest tops as well. HOHO. Retail therapy. :D Satisfied my cravings for famous amos cookies too. Tell me how to not be happy today? LOL. On top of all, youmademesmile.

Talking to sweetheart, vivi and you online now. Listening songs. NICE songs. haha. I'm smiling, I really am. heh.

SexyClique.
Random. Everythings gonna be good now. I hope. Really glad. (:

Alright, I'm done. hoho.



LABELS: My only wish.

Please forgive me, can't stop loving you.

I know I know I know. I havent been updating right? Been really busy with stuffs. This and that. Rushing for reports and all. Really tired. Look at the time now and I'm still online. 4.08am. Just finish my fieldtrip report. Printing in sch tmr, lazy. =x AHHHHHHHHHH.

Driving practicals are draining me. Its really alot of money and I reckon I'll not get it anytime soon. Its Semestral exam in Aug and our projs are due at the end of July. Tell me how to take time out for driving? Whats more timetable totally aint flexible. Weird timings. I'm only free on tues in between lessons and thurs after FnB tut. -_- July fully booked alr and I'm left with Aug. Exam in that month. HA-HA. Dont wanna bother alr.

Fell asleep on my lappy while doing my conclusion for report. LOL. somebody nudge me on msn and that woke me up. Vivo City-ed with Sis and Kev for skirt suit. Cost me only $159. lesser den I expected. Need reimbursements soon man. Waiting for time to fly fly fly till I can go bathe, meet sweetheart at Boonkeng.

I AM SO HUNGRY. ):

I realise I really have no time for nonsense already. Results aint up to mark and projs all halfway done. I'm beginning to feel the stress and sian-ness already. I AM TIRED. rahh! So many things to do, so little time. Okay, maybe its not THAT bad. Just that I'm feeling lethargic now. Tell me I'm right.

Dearest might be skipping econs tutorial. DAMN, talking bout that, econs project! ): had a few articles ready but I dont see the relevance. Shall bring to class. I hate this feeling! Wanting to sleep but can't. ): Supposedly decide to sleep once ****'s done with his report. But look what's happening. LOL. Its gon be a long day tmr and i wonder how am I to survive. Can I not go for tutorial as well? heh.

Oh, did I mentioned that I really love my sweetheart and dearest to bits? They never fail to make my day with surprises and jokes. LOL. They came to FnB with 2 faces which really put a smile on my sulked face in the noon. Thanks loves! I got you both the candies you guys always wanted from Candy Empire(:



LABELS: You have a place in my heart, I'm sure.


yourpresencereallymademesmilefromdeepwithin.
nowordscandescribehowi'mfeelingnowandiamreallysureofwhatireallywant.
perhapsthisisnottherighttime.
everyone'sbusywithsomanythingsandwhohasthetimeforallthese?
butiwillwait.iwillwaittillthatday.iknowitwillcome.ijustknow.
donttellmei'mwrong.cosnooneknow(:
you'llalwaysbekeptinmyheart.
itsreallynicetohavethisfeelingofjuststayingbyyoursideexpectingnothing.
aslongasiseeyoursmileeveryday,aslongasigettolookintothoseeyes,iamhappy.
evenforthatfewsecondswhenoureyesmet, ifeltjoyinmyheart.
dontletthisfeelingfadeaway.letitbemymotivation.
you'rethereasontomysmileeveryday.
icherishyou.

YOU.


遥望着 你背影 有孤单太苍白
我多么想陪着你走过人山人海
当天空变灰白 你的忧伤澎湃
我多么想走进你禁锁的心海

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都好好收藏着

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热

当天空变灰白 你的忧伤澎湃
我多么想走进你禁锁的心海

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都好好收藏着

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热

我鼓起勇气呐喊你要听得见
我不许你再孤单 要你拥抱我给的温暖

我一直都在你身后等待
等你有一天回过头看我
我的笑送给你希望你快乐
你的难过都给我
关于你的一切我都好好收藏着

我一直都在你身后等待
你有一天能感觉到我
就算我在你世界渺小像一颗尘埃
我也会给你我所有的光和热




foryou,myboy.

What hurts the most.

Was too tired to blog ystd. Slept the moment I came home. Okay, not exactly immediately. Anyway, not important. Woke up at say, 12pm? haha. You can tell I'm really tired. My girls misunderstood me luh. Sorry girls, I'm just tired. (: See, today I'm fine. I just needed a bed. LOL. Didnt sleep at all the night before. Stayed awake till 8am with Pris and guess what was that for? Just to satisfy her cravings for Macs breakfast. -_- I'm nice.

Met up in school today for commskills project. I dont know why I just dont wanna concentrate. Not that I didnt try. I did. Wasnt tired, wasnt moodswing, wasnt pissed. I dont know why luh. HAHA. Video-calling with Sweetheart now. She's alone and she's scared. HAHAHA. I'm nice, yes again, to accompany her. You know I cant multi-task luh, so she's left alone at the other end waiting for me to finish blogging. Not gon be a long entry today anyway. (:

Errr, I have nothing to say already.

Before I end off, wanna thank Mins(: You're the man luh! You know what I mean :D Loves lot girl! Thank you sis. I really love you.


乌黑的发围盘成一个圈
缠绕所有对你的眷恋
搁着半透明的脸
嘴里说的语言完全没有欺骗

屋顶灰色瓦片安静的画面
灯火是你美丽那张脸
终于找到所有流浪的终点
你的微笑就输了疲倦

千万不要说天长地久
免的你觉的我不切实际
想多么简单就多么简单
是妈妈告诉我的哲理

脑袋都是你
心里都是你
小小的爱在那城里好甜蜜

念的都是
你全部都是
你小小的爱在那城里只为你倾心
让我大声的对你说
i'm thinking of you
那回城的票根你留做纪念
不必害怕面对离别
剪掉一丝头发让我放在胸前
走到那里都有你陪
相随

是那一种寸步不离的感觉我知道就叫做缘






LABELS: I'm thinking of you.

It wasn't easy. But I did it.

First thing first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETE!!

Alright, the girls, Gary, Didi, Amily and obviously the birthday boy went Kbox at cine. We have better place to go you know. LOL. Enjoyed myself though was stoning half the time in the room. Holding back wasnt easy, it was never.

I had a weird feeling, and somehow that weird feeling lighten up my mood and I didnt emo-ed as I expected. Thats a good thing anyway. It wasnt awkward, it was normal. How did we manage to do it? I avoided eye-contacts but then again, I wanna look into those eyes so much. Tried to sit in such a way that I'm not that far from you but I'm not anywhere you can see easily. Hiding and all suck. Was all fine till dearest texted and asked me to be strong. Tear-ed immediately. No one saw. It wasnt for anyone to see anyway. My heart was all on you thou my eyes werent. Okay, I'm not suppose to.

Returned smth that doesnt belong to me. Thou it doesnt, I was attached to it cos I had it on all the time till it became part of me. Having to let it go back wasnt as easy as it seemed. But I kept quiet. I see no point in keeping it with me yet it doesnt rightfully belong. I want it to be mine, thou I dont know how high the chances are. I'm fucked up. I know.

I thought i had a week? Who took it away from me? I know no matter how many weeks i'm allowed, I'll still not able to face till I see him. Fuck cares? I'm runnin away, yes. Let me avoid. If that makes me better, why not? Dearest's all out to help me get back on my feet and I really appreciate her effort. I must say I wouldnt be able to pull thru without her. Thou to be very honest, sometimes, just sometimes, my heart aches at the sight of... Anyway, its inevitable. I know at the end of the day, all that'll be childish assumptions. (: Everyone's gg thru the same thing. At least for dearest and I.

I dont care how people say. I just wanna blog bout anything. You people just read and shut up. Dont ask and ask and ask. If you should know, I would have told you long ago. Keep all ur comments to yourself and if you arent happy with me, I dont see why you should be reading my blog. Friends or foe? I ask myself. You should ask urself too. If you're neither of mine, you're lucky. Cos you wont wanna have anything to do with me(:

My effort of trying to hide emotions was paid off. I managed to return only with a blushed face, dont ask me why. I dont know. I realised thats there's many "I-dont-knows" in this entry. You'll see more of them in future. Cos I really dont know. Maybe being ignorant is a blessing. How true? I know. Now I know. Sometimes somethings are better left unsaid. But when those things arent suppose to be told, make sure it will not be told. Not now, not in future. Cos it'll be worse by then. Try to get what I mean if they sound foreign to you. Dont worry, thou you know its English you're reading but it sounds alien.

I hate emo entries. But on the contrary, i get all my thoughts "housed". You dont want me to start whining and complaining.

Thats all for today. I strongly advise you people to keep ur life away from mine. As in, dont read my blog. I tend to brainwash ppl unknowingly and propaganda isnt good(:


Thank God no one sang Superwoman today. Thank God.







LABELS: I miss having it around me all the time. i may not say, but i really do.

As if saying, "Everything will be fine."


The rainbow we saw today.
There must be thunderstorms before you see this wonderful creation.

To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you.




Do you ever think about me?

Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?

In the middle of the night when you're awake,

Are you calling out for me?

Do you ever reminisce?

I can't believe I'm acting like this

I know it's crazy

How I still can feel your kiss



1 - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours

Since you went away

I miss you so much and I don't know what to say

I should be over you

I should know better

but it's just not the case

It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours

Since you went away



Do you ever ask about me?

Do your friends still tell you what to do?

Every time the phone rings,

Do you wish it was me calling you?

Do you still feel the same?

Or has time put out the flame?

I miss you

Is everything okay?



It's hard enough just passing the time

When I can't seem to get you off my mind

And where is the good in goodbye?

Tell me why, tell me why





Sometimes all you need is a pat on the shoulders and be told you're fine.





I have nothing to blog about today. But this song's stuck in my head. Was reading the super emo entry before this. Got everything off my chest and yes, I felt alot better. But it still hurts whenever I thought of you. Or maybe I should say I feel my heart aching all the time cos you're always on my mind. I've got my pride, I will not cry but its making me weak. Wanted so much to take a step forward to talk to you again. But the next thing I knew, I actually had nothing to talk to you about anymore. It hurts alot. There's nothing I can do. Many "it-used-to-bes" ran thru my mind. When that happened, all i could do was turn away and tell myself its ok.

I have another week more before I have to really face you. Mix feelings. I'll play pretend, i'll try my best. I was the one who asked things to be normal but here I am doing otherwise. Forget it? I'll take its as I don't know you at all? Can I? Its a cycle and I hate it. I'm really sick of it.

I'm tired, I really am. But I won't be easily defeated. wo de shi jie zou bu chu ni bei ying de fan wei, mei you ni hui mian mu quan fei. Wo hai neng ai shui.


Picking sis up at the airport later. I hope she'll help me feel better. I don't wanna cry myself to sleep every night anymore. I need the strength to stand up on my feet.






LABELS: An open wound, sprinkle salt on it, how does it feel?

I know I will falter, I know I will cry.

Why must everything happen at the same time? FUCK. This is really no good for the inner soul. I hate my life now. Everything's all over the place. Feelings, life, everything. Tell me how to not collaspe? Its hurts everytime i think of the two issues. It may be nothing to most of you, but let me tell you this, it sucks. It really felt like having had a knife pierced right through my heart. I cant do anything. There's nothing I can do. Maybe i can tear my house down, throw away every single thing that I see. Does all that help? What if the only person who can make you smile again is the one who made you cry? What can you do? How are you able to not feel the world's falling on you? I know I can stand up on my feet again. I know time is all i need. And when I thought I had someone whom I can confide in but what happened to that thought of mine? I know I cant do that anymore. It really hurts, badly. I can really feel my heart bleeding. Yes, laugh all you want fucktard. Remember karma exists. (:

I really miss the past when all friendships were genuine and people were real. I dont get that now. Alright, maybe one or two. I had to be on guard all the time and it came to a point where you cant differentiate between right or wrong. You might think that you're right and you know every single thing, but in the end, you're actually wrong and you know nothing. You may know something, but there're many others who know more, alot more. There's so many things happening. All at the same time. I know I have my girlfriends there for me, all ready and willing to help me sort out everything, re-organise my life. But who can help me spiritually? I cant trust anyone when I dont even trust myself. Screwed up.

If only life was simpler, if only everyone's genuine. I know its impossible, but at least I wish the people ard me are. I swear I needed to cry my heart out ystd night but I couldnt, nothing came out. Pris was there with me on the line. I needed her badly. Thanks dearest.

I know I wont be the same anymore.

Its all these shit that made me over-protective of myself. To an extent where everyone around me are capable of a betrayal. I hate this feeling. I wasnt like this before but now, I have to be. Putting in too much feelings and being genuine ruined me. There will not be a mask on me but I'll be superficial. I just have to learn to hide my feelings and emotions. I'll still be me but its just me that you'll see. Thanks fucktard, you made me stronger. (: I know I have to play on the safe side from now on. I will never wanna risk heartbreaks anymore.

Allow me a week, after the holiday, i'll be perfectly fine.

We're not talking.





LABELS: When all I can do is watch you leave.

第一次看着你 就为你心动
聪明的我 怎能让你走
第二次看见你 我竟然失控
是我的错 请你原谅我
第三次看见你 想要告诉你
我真的爱你 是真的爱你
第四次看着你 我有些要求
请你能够 安安静静的聆听

一.让我保护你
二.让我照顾你
三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
四.接受这命运
五.永远不分离
那最后一个一定要说你愿意

Want be your lover want be your man
我只要你开心多一点
Can you be my lover dont wanna be your friend
给你幸福到永远

第一次看着你 就为你心动
聪明的我 怎能让你走
第二次看见你 我竟然失控
是我的错 请你原谅我
第三次看见你 想要告诉你
我真的爱你 是真的爱你
第四次看着你 我有些要求
请你能够 安安静静的聆听

一.让我保护你
二.让我照顾你
三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
四.接受这命运
五.永远不分离

说你愿意
Want be your lover want be your man
我只希望给你多一点
Can you be my lover dont wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天
因为我Want be your lover want be your man
我只要你开心多一点
Can you be my lover dont wanna be your friend
给你幸福到永远
说你害怕 因为受过伤
不需要害怕 因为我不是他

Want be your lover want be your man
我只希望给你多一点
Can you be my lover dont wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天
因为我Want be your lover want be your man
我只要你开心多一点
Can you be my lover dont wanna be your friend
给你幸福到永远

I still believe.

Okay, its past 12am already. Thou, take it as this entry's for 13 June 2007. (: Just came home from town. Met Val and nephew first, followed by Pris. Then Didi and Gary. Kbox-ed today. Val and I K-ed from 11 plus till 6-7pm. Really tired cos i slept at 7am in the morning and got up at 11. Pris and i happily continue sleeping when we're suppose to meet at 11am. HOHOHO. Poor Val.

Val left early at 7pm to send her nephew back. Four of us cont'ed singing. Or rather 3 of them. Didnt have the voice to sing la. So i kept quiet. Funny things happened but i'm too tired to recall and blog. hehe.

Vi'lage for dinner. Nice place, i love it there. Did i mention that Gary's fickle? The last time i heard was he's on diet and now, he's trying to gain weight. Damn funny la he. He ate half a spring chicken and another plate of rice. Was surprised. Walked ard after dinner. Bought the girls a wristband each. black for pris, brown for val and i got the white one. Four of us unknowingly walked to the train station. Suppose to send Pris to the station den i'll meet val. Two guys couldnt decide whether to return home or stay. So i made a decision for them which val opposed. Went to meet Val alone and told her i asked the guys to go back. LOL. She called didi immediately and ask the both of them to come out of the platform. HAHA, they were really nice enough to actually come back. (:

Walked ard cine, hoping to buy shorts. But ended up at the arcade watching didi and val play DDR. played table hockey too. Got a cut myself and val had blue-black. So vigorous. LOL. Had fun rotating partners la. (: Someone actually suggested going kbox again when he was the one who chased us all out for dinner. -_-"

Cabbed home with the 3 others. and here i am(:

Adel's on diet(: So friends, dont offer Adel any food. heh.

HAPPY DAY. diditellyouthatyoulooksuperhotinthattop?

`I wanna be your lover, don't wanna be your friend.- CAOGE.

LABELS: I will make it happen.

I'm dumb, I'm sorry.

My apologies. The feeling i'm feeling right now really sucks. I know I shouldnt have. I'm sorry. Ireally am. You gotta understand, its not easy to step out again after all that had happened before. Give me time.

DOUBTS, DOUBTS AND MORE DOUBTS.

Have you ever been through this mixed-up, fucked-up, screwed-up situation whereby you can only stand and watch it happen even though you really wanna do something bout it. It sucks alot having to doubt the people around you when everyone tells you you're just being paranoid. You know it has nothing to do with paranoia, yet your observations tell you otherwise. So what you'll do bout it? Someone enlighten me please. I give up persuading myself, i give up convincing myself that its paranoia at work. How can I ever do that when all I see is on the contrary? I hate myself for being like that. I hate myself for doubting my own best friend. This sucks, really.

There's so many "what-ifs" going thru my mind now. Do I really know you? Or rather how much do I know bout you? Is it enough for me to entrust my entire inner-feelings to you and know that my secrets are in good hands? At times I really feel that I'm the happiest person on Earth and I really thank God for these friendships. This is the only reason thats keeping me going. I don't want this to ever end. You know how much I love you. And you always tell me that I have a place in your heart. We had our fair share of fun and emo-ing times, you were really patient with me and tolerantly put up with all my nonsense- without a single complaint. I love you for all that you've brought to my life. I'll tear at the thought of losing you. Will you? Is this feeling mutual? Or is it just me and my dumb assumptions. Tell me you mean it when you say I'm precious to you, tell me you'll never leave me when times are bad. You know I mean every single thing I said and I'll live up to them till the very last moment. What you see is what you get. My friendship to everyone is genuine. So I really expect every single one of my friends to do the same. This aint too much to ask for am I right? You don't see no link to every sentences up there cos everything's mixed up. Some are for you and some are for another you. Ask yourself, does it ring a bell? The best answer will be "What the hell is she trying to say". Why? Cos that will be when our friendships are mutually genuine.


I will not let it happen again. NEVER.




LABELS: Tell me I'm wrong bout it.

I should know better.

Should i explain the whole not-blogging-promptly thing? Don't wanna blog about what i eat, where i went and who i was with cos... you can always go to val's blog. (: Alright, maybe i'll blog about the particular event if its significant enough, at least to me. So, this will be the place I pour my sorrows and unhappiness. But then again, I dont wanna appear to be super emo-fied cos its no good. (: Happy events will be up here den. Such ironic.

Returned home at only 6am this morning. Movie-ed with Pris, Pete and Gary. PIRATES again. LOL. For the benefit of Pris and Gary who hasnt watch. Show ended around 12.30am to 1am. Was about to cab home when Pete suggested we kbox till six. -_-" i'm fine with it and we went. LOL. Or should i say it was a JAY CHOU kbox session. 80% of the songs were Jay's. Towards the end was all the Eason Chan's. Canton's good. (: Pris left at 3am after much bombing from her dad on her phone. haha. Almost fell asleep luh. LOL. Gave up and all left at 5.30am. How dumb. cabbed home. If time would stop at that very moment. ANYWAY, time to bathe! Did i mention that i just came back from a jog? (: Thats significant okay.

I shouldnt have rushed. I should have taken my time. Don't judge now, wait till you feel that you really know me and understand me. Don't make any decisions now, you know it ain't fair if you do. Till then, I'll keep you in my heart.


LABELS: I don't wanna lose you.

I miss you so much and I don't know what to say.

Okay, this is all so random. Didnt blog for so long cos of tests. No time. LOL. Not like i'll do tremendously well for the papers. HAHA.

DXO-ed with Val, Frank and Lewis ystd. Was dead tired la. GOSH. Went supper with Val's parents and aunt after that. Was trying to keep awake. LOL. Had lotsa fun la. LEWIS has baby smell!!!! HAHAHA. xD

Going compass with mum and sis later. Meeting Pris, Hafiz and Gary for movies later at night. (:
imissyou.

AHHH, stop the emo-ness. I shall go offline. (:


LABELS: I can't get you outta my mind.

Will you take my hands if i give them to you?

Didnt really have the time to blog so there, my dead blog. LOL. (excuses) But term test's next week and I have to study. (: I don't wanna just pass, i wanna do well.

Met Val early in the morning at 11 for breakfast at Macs. Sweetheart woke me up at 10 and i told her to call back in 5 mins time. Thank god she called, or else I'll just cont sleeping. LOL. Studied a little at Hg Mall, walked ard. Went down to the hosp to visit mum. Got aunt to fetch us to Centrepoint. Macs again. HAHA. But we didnt eat till Lewis came. STUDIED alot. haha. Was studying RHT when Gary told me I should be studying ECONS. LOL. Thought what he saed made sense, switched to Econs immediately. haha. Thanks boy! (:

Lewis met us at 6. ate and talked cock. Walked ard centrepoint and spent 80 bucks on my lips. -_________________-" worth it anyway. heh.

I'm tired alr. Mental block. dont know what to blog about. LOL.

I'm a happy girl :D





LABELS: I'll take you if I had a wish.