`i feels so good to be different.

i think i dont really have to act like a teenager. maybe bcos i'm one?
ppl sae i have a weird hobby, dream, ambition and everything.
you cant blame ppl for working towards smth they like right?
the books i read. the current affairs that i'm interested in. political issues and all.
someone tell me wads wrong with that?

hmmm. smth disappointed me alot. but i'm gonnna wait. yes.
the age limit to join Young PAP is 17!! one more yr to go. hais.
the ppl there are really nice. they also think its ok for a person at my age to be interested in. ya.
Very rare doesnt mean dont have at all. yeah?

anyway, tt aside. didnt manage to study todae. cos i fell asleep. hur hur.

made up my mind. CJC is wad i wan. not poly anymore. although TP seems to interest me alot. but look. i have my plans and i cannot give up just bcos poly sounds fun and all. =)

i have alot to say. but not here la. i'll rattle in class to my frens. haha.
thanks Fides, Rebecca, Regina for ur support and telling me its ok to have ones own dream. u guys made my day.



`i hope i found the missing piece.

` i dont know why. i feel very comfortable with you. but. i noe. i'd better stay out of r/l.
its always feelings that will get me tangled in confusing relationships. i better stay away. dun let feelings lead me agn.

swim heats todae. hmmm. was boring thou. after that went hougang mall with sis. and von.

i'm really sick of daily routines. everything seem to be the same everyday. i wan smth new!

but when i get wad i want. i wun feel anything and i think thats bad. when can i ever be satisfied with my life?

If everyone is satisfied with their lives, no improvements will be made to this world. thts worse.no further technology. no luxury.

In contrary, if everybody are contented with their lives. there will be peace with no war. no greed means no crime.


BUT. how can one be contented when their lives are lack of smth. smth that they either do not know. or smth that they want so badly. eh?

Conclusion is. i also dont know. hur hur


oh. new policy. ; there WILL be PAE thid year. its back. means there will be 3 months of JC for our cohort. not bad. gonna do well. very well.

studying chinese ltr. i wanna A1. no A1 i will retake. no matter wad.
thats my goal.


kks. so naggy todae. blogginf of.. very tired already.




` wad i mention in the first para is really how i feel

`Just when i realise. all was gone.

talked to kev last night. well. he cheered me up a little. thnx kev. i needed that encouragement.
kinda depress nowadays. i cant find the push factor of my life.
there's seriously smth missing in my life. and i dont know wad is it. hais.
something's not right.
i want to noe the answer.
it'll take time i noe.
i'll be very patient.
i might have to wait till i'm old.
but i'm still determined to find the missing piece in my supposedly perfect jigsaw puzzle.


Sandy called me todae when i was in bus 87. haha. she told me she wanted to pierce ear. hmmm. i saed YES! go and do it! she was hesitating. couldnt make decision.
we agreed on saturday. but it depends on her. going out with Sandy and MeiDan this sat. haha! long since the three of us went out together. time to catch up ya? haha..

Twinnies, Fides and i agreed to study for Chinese Os when we were in the library todae. haha. yes yes. will be starting on april fools dae. hmmm. its not meant to be a joke thou. haha. i HAVE to study. i've got my dreams to fulfill. Its still a long journey towards my perfect unique life. =)

Had fun at CP todae. went looking for blushers with twinnies. haha. Regina slapped Reb. real hard. haha. i bought smth too. =) thought of buying myself anything i want. as long as i can afford. ANYTHING. serious. =D

needa go now. i hope i will love school someday.

hmmm. a poem wriiten by Warren. he wrote it for fun and he sent me. haha. i think its really nice. this poem is one of the three he sent me. and its the nicest. wanna share. haha.

A long shot

You're my beauty queen.
You're my everything.
Not like all those posuers;
your as sweet as roses.
Never thought i would feel this way;
i'm thinkin about u everyday.
girl won't u take me in;
look pass my every sin.
beauty and brains thats so hard to find;
girl gimme a shot and let u be mine.


nice right?? i like it.

` i always believe in miracles. But i dont depend on them. anymore.

came back frm Genting. well. its was ok.
relaxed abit. but.

`u're alwaes on my mind.

sch tmr. well. turn off.

okok. gtg.

`so confuse.

`i seriously wonder who will we be now if all that hadn't happen.

hais. i dont know. but i dun wanna look back and take the route all over agn.
we went thru too much. too much for me to bear. u understand? hais.
i'm not gonna start the conversation if u dun take the initiative.
i told you b4. dun come to me unless you found the reason and ur decision.
well. months passed. have you?
i doubt. met you online.
not a single word u saed.
i'm waiting.
i really dont wan history to repeat itself. u understand wad i'm tryin to sae?


hais. nvm.
going Genting Highlands ltr.
its 1.02 am now. going at 5.45am.
take this time to relax.

Chinese prelim on 4th May. Sis' birthdae.
Chinese Os on 30th May.
6 daes after my birthdae.
this yr not gonna celebrate.
didn't celebrate last yr.
cant find the reason to celebrate.
i wanna spend my sweet sixteen with you.
but it seems to far away.
wadever la. gotts go.

`tell me i can look back. tell me nothing's too late.
`i dun wanna assume that u're talking to me thru ur nick.
`i wan u to talk to me.

`i shouldn't think of u anymore from the day i ended everything, i noe.
but. its easier saed den done.
u're in my mind more often den u shld be.

till den. my feelings fade

hey! i thought i updated smth abt ATF?? hmph!!!

nvm la. dun wanna sae anymore. ATF's scary. hahhaha~!

inter-unit netball comp todae. kinda disappointed.
but anyway. juniors did well. realli well.. =)
1st: PLMGSS
2nd: Cedar Girls'
3rd: Siglap Sec

we're the forth... nvm la=)
organising sch win also damn paiseh one leh.
hmmm...

hais. confused.

till then

`sometimes i really feel like a princess..
`but sometimes i feel like i'm just a girl next door.

wads wrong with being a girl-next-door you may ask.
but let me ask you. which girl dun wann alook pretty. which girl dun wanna be a beauty with brains?
ask this urself frm the bottom of your heart. only you noe the answer

dont noe why am i blogging such thing. haha
anyway. the thought of being a princess just came to my mind. and ya. blog for fun. =)

no girl wanna be called a bimbo right?
neither do a girl wanna be just a girl next door.
correct me if i'm wrong.
but tts seriously how i feel.

i really wonder how am i gonna survive if i were to go bankrupt.
nobody would want me either.
i dun wanna get married so early thou.
hahaha!
so crappy

bye!

`i'm waiting for ur explanation

hais. dun unfold the mystery. cos it'll only bring confusion...
nvm, life has to get on. the earth wun stop spinning for me thou i wished tt moment will not end so fast.
it ended so quickly tt i din noe it existed
i'm so fickle-minded.
but i dun choose to be like tt.
the decision just come out w/o me knowing
and i noe i shouldnt regret after tt
and like i saed, i did not regret.
somehow, after a period of time.
i start to feel smth.
something tt i shouldnt be thinking.
maybe we're not meant to be.

Do you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?

Do you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weaklings and most succeptible?

Do you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?

Do you know that the three most difficult things to say are : I love you,Sorry and help me The people who say these are those that actually need them or really feel them, and they are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.

Do you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?

Do you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Do you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy thier beauty?

Do you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Do you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

Do you know that those who need more of you are those that did not mention it to you?


Do you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writting than saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more value when you say it in the face?

Do you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?

Do you know that if y ou ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?

Do you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.


But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself , if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned of,and you know that you can help,you'll see that it will be returned in two folds.


"One day, we mad people will change the world...or we are already changing it " THE BALL IS NOW IN YOUR COURT... If the world were to end in 24 hours,all the phone lines, chat rooms and email will be saturated from people sending messages to others, saying: "I regret having made you feel bad", "Pardon me", "I love you", "I hold you in high esteem", take good care of yourself" and sometimes "I have always loved you, only I never told you".

`beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder...

hmmm... wells. sch's fine. i'm fine.
thank god i got friends that will accompany me thru thick and thin.
i used to think tt i'm all alone.
really depressing...
now i noe. i'm not alone. and never alone.
thank you Sandy, Yvonne, Carmen, Meidan,My twinnies, two ah lings. and many many more.
Life wouldnt be any better w/o all of you...
and of course, all my juniors and fellow NCOs.
i really love them loads.
u guys make me whole again.
i dun wan Passing Out Parade
i wanna stay with u guys forever.
but i noe, its impossible.
forever makes me cry

`WHY MUST YOU APPEAR IN FRONT OF ME??
time after time i'm tryin' to get you out of my mind. Day after day u'll appear in front of me.
sme times when i see you, i just hate your presence.
but when i dun see you. i wished you were here.
i'm contradicting myself i noe.

`cherish every moment u have...
cos it might stay in your memory forever...
just like how u guys will be in my heart. forever

hmmm. have the sudden urge to blog again. i dunno why..=)

i noe i haf to study real hard for Os. i noe i noe. dun nag.
and i noe i have to concentrate on Os. -notrelationships-
everything is nth but Os.
all teachers think that the mentality of a O level student must be nth but O level. i kinda agree. but not to such extend where they remind us EVERY single mth, week, dae, hrs, min. secs. Thats way tooooo much for us to bear. u agree?? hmmm.

okok. THANKS SANDY!!! i noe i cann... =))

ok, need to go off now. AND STUDY. how interesting can life get?

takkaire everyone. dun explode

Hmmm, O level results out yesterdae and Principal announced this morning. Feel kinda stressed now. SJC's result were superb. I got no comments oss its really really well done. oh man. the next focus is us. E maths 95% pass and half of them got Distinction!! The best thing was A maths results. VERY shocking indeed... High percentage in passing ma. SJC BROKE THE MATHS IDIOT CURSE!!! hahaha.. i want to do well i wan to cry the tears of Joy with my frens. They are the one who will be taking the results with me. They MUST be the one who'll celebrate with me. I dun wanna cry on that dae. even if i were to cry, It would be tears of joy and I WANNA CRY OUT LOUD!

Most of them got ard. 8 to 10. man! AND Minqi got 10!! she can do it, i can do it. not that she;s not good. just that she's those playful type. and frm her, i learnt smth. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN U PUT UR HEART AND SOUL INTO IT.

Congrats seniors frm NPCC. You guy did us proud. ADELINE TAN PEI QI: 8 pts!!
i wanna be like her. although we haf the smae name and same surname, she's cleverer. NOT FAIR. i wanna work xtra hard den. My aim is L1R5 15 L1R4:10.

I CAN DO IT~